Sleeping form
the vision
all I see
May I touch your skin
pretend that your dreams are of me
May I reach across
take that stranded black hair
convert it to a safer place
right behind your ear
May I place a kiss on your delicate face
and watch you squint at the sensation it makes
Listen to you breathe
hear your heartbeat through your chest
in this bed I feel like a guest
awaiting for an exit
the alarm to alert the time
my escape plan
the daylight that allows my rise and shine
For this is all lies
cruel and inhumane
the evil that resides in you can only be to blame
you torment me
your beauty is all i se
you are Jenny Elizabeth Schecter
you will say who is that
and Ill say never mind
but all the qualities she possesses
are the same as the ones you do
she'll lead them all on
with her head of many thoughts
and all those good intentions
that turn out wrong in the end
confusion is what plagues her
not knowing what she wants
take a man
take a women
no matter who it is
she'll pretend that you are the one for her
till someone better
no gender specified
comes along and you're no longer what she was looking for
you are jenny
with her deranged thoughts
and febel attempts of happiness
no friends
sits home on Friday nigh
Her eyes only sparkle when she lies
I whisper to myself as I fall asleep at night
You cant imagine the things that go on
when the light is out and the doors are locked
what kind of crimes she commits
and the sins that set in
when she is being who she really is
They say love is only right when you are with a man
and that your family and all your friends will never understand
that this kind of love is just not appropriate in this land
You'll look away and do as they say
for not everything is worth fighting for in the mind of the immature
doesn't matter how your heart beats
or the incomplete notion you feel as he touche
my ears remain open to anything you say
but unlike before
your words wont sink into my brain
pass swiftly between the passage
and move out of the mind
the words you utter
will be like no other
in which their meaning will be altered
into a random encounter that's pointless and worthless
exists no more in this head
feel free to ramble
and get the small talk out of the way
the sentences and phrases that used to bug me
no longer penetrate my brain
I could care less
my mind will be free of your mess
clean up the memories of old
replaced with a new sense of truth
the dirty little secrets that I've had the proof
he
Black out
darkness sets in
emptiness begins
She lays there
Unable to close her eyes
tears swelling
demons creeping inside
hurting uncontrollably
throbbing head
pulsating temple
lies and guilt
tearing
grinding
the sanity
she had left
lonely she feels
always so alone
when finally someone
gives an inch
she sends them all the way home
letting them take all her
letting them rape all of her
lay there
be quiet
be silent
be still
the candle blown out
no flame is left to burn
something fun
something just to feel
turn that drunken thought
into a sober state
you wouldnt do this normally
sto
Emotional Disturbance by idefythestars19, literature
Literature
Emotional Disturbance
Denial can be an ugly thing
Courses throughout the blood stream
Attacks the heart strings
Never letting go
Keeps that steady flow
Temperature rises
Heart pulsates rapidly
Mind drifts slowly
Always in that darkened place
Repeating your lips
Your face
Betrayal is all i know
Gets harder and harder
The more that i go
Dwelling down this lonely path
Trying to finally see past
The hunter
stalking her prey
Getting lead on
teased and then flee
experiment with the mind
take a trip to ease the time
remember when it was simple
you asked and said please
But when it came down to it
it wasnt what was right for me
Dreaming the Right Way by idefythestars19, literature
Literature
Dreaming the Right Way
Let me take your hand
Lead you up the stairs
Out of your skin
And into my arms
In here you can be yourself
Theres no shame
Theres nothing to hide
No matter what you say
I will hold you all night
Let your head rest
Eyes closed
You near me
I feel this
I embrace this
Never letting go
The memory takes over
I feel this ghost
Your heart pumps blood
Deep within the veins
Goose bumps
Silence
soft hush
little breaths escape
Eyes closed
Rest now
When you wake
You'll be bundled up tight
wrapped tightly between
soft linens and cotton sheets
moisture oozing
You'll look around
Gaze at the white empt
Peel the flesh from my bones
Throw it all away
Bleed my insides dry
replace my eyes with stones
I dont wanna see you
See your sparkling orbes
Wanna Kill your image
The one embedded deep
within my wounded soul
Escape your voice
Forget your sent
Burn all your pictures
drench kerosene on my hands
light a match
watch them burn
torch the finger tips
that once traced your form
A person
A place
A thing
All will die in my mind
Anything that comes close
to you and your pathetic style
Butter them up
Watch them fall
take the knife
slash and stab
dice them to bits
spit them out
This is what its all abou
Standing alone in a frozen field
An endless colorless canvas of cold
Hesitation
Pause between breaths
Lungs fill with frigid air
I extend into my first step
Boots slip and slide
A journey to the ice land
A kingdom all on its own
My little sanctuary
A place to call home
Winter makes me empty
I use its solitude to get me by
Wondering this icy field
Will help me erase the time
Finding answers in the snow
The canvas becomes mind
Ive drained myself of emotion
This ship no longer seems to sail
My wings feel like they are broken
White feathers dirty and bones frail
The train has been chugging
down a long rusty track
though things seem to be slugging
it feels like Ive only been on one path
Ive tried so many things
I just cant seem to get it right
I know I'm searching
But looking for it in spite
This vision of who I want to be
Plagues me in my sleep
Grown up with a job
A house filled with much love
its all right infront of me
I reach my hands out
try to grasp it
make it mine
then i come to the conclusion
at nine-teen years old
its not
Envision the most radiant women you've ever seen
and smash the image on a television screen
imagine her smiling and holding you tight
now take that image and the wonderful sight
of the beauty and perfection she has portrayed
and fall to your knees as you are betrayed
Masquerade yourself from the tears you will weep
as you lie awake unable to sleep
Recalling the moments that you once shared
remember the bruises you once bared
the pain that ate at your insides
the stinging sensation that filled your eyes
as you sat crying for hours by her side
waiting for the agony to subside
the year that passed has been an illusion
it
I was deranged and confused
you seemed amused
with my misery and pain
drowning in the rain
i hang on to your every word
i want to cry when you hurt
to kiss you makes me weep
the taste of your lips
haunts me in my sleep
i never got to say goodbye
now all that is left is a lie
i need relief
a message sent to me
to find out if we were meant to be
everyday without you is empty and cold
a deep void is tearing at my soul
you made me complete
i must accept defeat
and realize
im all alone
avert your eyes
i'll pretend not to cry
for your sake i will be strong
and try to move on
i've been replaced
you've said this
As I sleep I dream of you
Sitting there staring back at me
Your brown hair flowing
settling softly
I dream you are healthy
and full of life
I think of you as indestructible
Awaiting the time to take flight
But this is not the time to fly
The sky is not ready for your grace
There is so much more life to live
without your presence
the world is a disgrace
Your life completes me
You're half the circle
that makes me whole
Stay with me to the end
And we can sail the skies together
Soaring the clouds above
You and I forever in love
The true meaning of life
is that we are dieing
each passing second of the day
you wait for love to fill the void
as it slowly rots you away
Open your nostril
and breathe in deep
that chalky white powder
never puts you to sleep
feel your addiction start to rest
as you snort and sniff that next breath
the true meaning of life
is that we are dieing
each passing moment of the night
lieing awake
envisioning heavens tunnel of light
Smoke billows in the room
shattering the ensence of stale perfume
relax and lean back
the world seems at ease
everythings ok
in this hazy state of peace
the true meaning of life
i
As if anyone cares
I sit and I stare
phone in front of me
awaiting a red flashing light
to signal someone wants me
It's only been two days
but I crave your voice in my ear
sitting
staring
awaiting in fear
will you be angry
or will you be sad
all these intentions
it could turn out so bad
it seems you are angry
at every little thing
but the fact is
I would do anything
Being the way you are
isn't going to get us far
and maybe I'm the one to blame
all these times I've tried
now I'm left ashamed
I cant live a life
being trained like a pup
dragged by a leash
getting smacked when I act up
its easier s
Ill take the walk
down the stairs
into the snow
ill trudge up the hill
for god only knows
Ill hand in my paper
Ill sign the attendence list
Ill twiddle my pencil
and ill place my head on the desk
Lecture me till i cant breath
Ill take notes like it never gets old
Ill stay up till all hours
studing for the next blow
I cant concentrate
the only thing on my mind is you
i dont even recognize
the others in the room
History means nothing to me
i could care less about what went on
math and science
there's just no need to go further on
I listen and i write
sketching beauiful hearts
between each sentence
not really
The Obituary to the Depressant by idefythestars19, literature
Literature
The Obituary to the Depressant
Moving on is hard on the soul
but it seems to get easier and easier
the more the time goes
Im sitting talking on the phone
and I know in my heart
im better off alone
your voice is screaming at me
and at this point
there is no reason
I can see
The things you say are hurting my ears
and all your mismatching is coming out unclear
I've taken your shit for far too long
and now I realize I came out so strong
your evil grin
rests deep in sin
and I think about how
I've been wronged
you fooled me once
twice before
but no longer
will you fool this fool anymore
Its been tw
My name...it feels like I have no name. No face, and no identity. That I am a mirage, an image portrayed and quickly fades away. I have no acquaintances, nor friends because no one really knew who I was. I walked amongst people with a veil concealing my true colors, in order to keep the peace. If they didn't know, they couldn't hate me... I guess that's the way it had to be.
I fell in love and that was when my world started to change. Caring was the flame that burned me deep inside. I could not understand why these tears fell from my eyes? Why did these powerful pains surge through my chest as I remember something that had to do with
At night she screams
with slit hands
and scratched knees
a puddle at her feet
she sinks into sand
the wetness beneath
The stars still shine
between drops of rain
and her tiny hands
look soaked and stained
from the dirt she lifted
and let drop again
down to the muck
back to the sin
Its hard to see
her bright green eyes
as they suddenly dash
out into the moonlight
she whispers something
i cant quite hear
but from the look of it
she is speaking through tears
Its not the rain pouring
down her streaked cheeks
its the visible anguish
thats being released
from her facial expression
even with this distan
I always thought love was a field of flowers,
ripe for the taking,
and I was just waiting
for that right person to pop out of the ground
but as I waited my heart started to fade
and the ground just seemed to soak up the sun
as I wept in the field
I realized I was the only one
No water was left and the roses cried for a drop of rain
and as I held my head high tears fell from my eyes
and out of the ground popped you
When I came too,
I looked at your petals
and thought how beautiful you would be
propped on my mantel in a vase
just waiting for someone to come along and see
cause u are my rose, my petal, my flower
but a
Current Residence: Plattsburgh State University Favourite genre of music: Emo Favourite photographer: Andrew Dunbar MP3 player of choice: ipod Favourite cartoon character: Sponge Bob
Favourite Movies
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Favourite Bands / Musical Artists
Hard to say, at the moment: Ani Difranco
Favourite Writers
Oscar Wilde
Other Interests
I like writing poetry, listening to music, singing, and trying to play guitar
~idefythestars19
kate
is Deviously Deviant
is Female
is a deviant since Feb 1, 2005, 9:00 PM
has 100 pageviews
is located in United States
last visited 3d 7h 49m 44s ago
~idefythestars19
kate
is Deviously Deviant
is Female
is a deviant since Feb 1, 2005, 9:00 PM
has 75 pageviews
is located in United States
last visited 4h 2m 39s ago
~Welcome to DA!!! ..found ya' from Rox...looks like you have the makings of a real nice Gallery...I write to...click on my Rose Icon and come visit my soon~